Experience Subjectivity Alan Peshkin Keynote Address Much of the acknowledgement of subjectivity's inevitable place in research comes in reaction to statements such as this one made by the famous German sociologist, Max Weber: I am ready to prove from the works of our historians that whenever the man of science introduces his personal value judgment, a full understanding of the facts ceases. (1946, p. 146) For most of the history of research, in education and in other fields, something resembling that statement was believed. In the last several decades there have been numerous reactions against its sentiment. They come from varied sources, including from palentologist Stephen J. Gould who in talking about evolution and the Gal pagos Islands observes that: Agassiz, a colleague of Darwin, said so little about the Gal pagos because his visit made preciously little impact upon him. The message is familiar, but profound nonetheless. Scientific discovery is not a one-way transfer of information, from unambiguous nature to minds that are always open . It is a reciprocal interaction between a multifarious and confusing nature and minds sufficiently receptive (as many are not) to extract a weak but sensible pattern from the prevailing noise. There are no signs on the Gal pagos Islands that proclaim: Evolution at work. Darwin, young, restless, and searching, was receptive to the signal. Agassiz, committed and defensive, was not.... I do not think he was free to reach Darwin's conclusions, and the Gal pagos Islands, therefore, carried no important message for him. Science is a balanced interaction of mind and nature. (1983, p. 118) And here is anthropologist Robert Redfield. He wrote a book about Tepotzlan, a village in Mexico. Not too much later, anthropologist Oscar Lewis wrote a book about the very same village, one of the rare cases of a restudy. Redfield said about the differences in the books he and Oscar Lewis wrote: I think we must recognize that the personal interests and values of the investigator influence the content of the description of the community....The hidden question behind my book is, `What did these people enjoy?' The hidden question behind Dr. Lewis' book is, `What do these people suffer from?' (1955, p. 136) These are not chance questions. It is not a fluke, a quirk, that Robert Redfield and Oscar Lewis asked the particular questions they did: they were very, very different people. My last quotation is from a New Yorker profile on Supreme Court Justice Brennan, now retired. Brennan and his Supreme Court colleagues make legal decisions based on research, of course, but the research that they do is tempered by their subjectivity: In a 1986 Times interview, Brennan was asked by Jeffrey Leads, his former clerk, to describe the hardest decision he had to make as a Justice. `The school-prayer cases.... The position I finally took took a long time to come around to. In the face of my whole lifelong experience as a Roman Catholic, to say that prayer was not an appropriate thing in public schools, that gave me a hard time. I struggled.' (1970, p. 62) The context of my experience with subjectivity requires an overview of the research I've been doing. I will discuss subjectivity, generally, and then introduce the places that I have been, along with the process of experiencing subjectivity. My awareness of subjectivity undoubtedly has developed from my research. For twenty years my research has been directed to the school community relationship, to exploring what schools are like given who sends their children to them. That, basically, is the foundation for all the research that I do. It focuses on local control, and the fact that people who send their children to school feel they've got a right to contribute to the shaping of that school. This fact more or less applies to nonpublic and public schools. The setting for my studies has been high schools. What I look at in these high schools is almost everything that goes on in them. As soon as I have the rapport to do so, I will try to attend all the school's classes, meetings, and activities in order to be as full a participant in the life of the school as I can manage. In addition to the high school, I go to the host community, which has been a town, in one case, a church, in another and a subgroup of parents in the case of nonpublic schools. What interests me about the host community is its history, demography, and its current political, economic, and religious conditions. I collect data by means of observation, documents, and multisession interviews. This, then, is the focus of my research and the context within which I've come to understand the unfolding process of my subjectivity. One does not know that something is a process until it has played itself out to some point. Then you can look back and say, "Ah ha, there's a process." I explicate this process because I assume that we do not appropriately grasp the place of subjectivity in our own research until we consciously experience our research at work. I am subjective when I do my research. I never think of this acknowledgement as making a confession. I'm subjective when I do research--as are we all--because of the affective state of my being: that is, I have values, attitudes, and tastes. If you can show me somebody who has no values, attitudes or tastes, then I will believe that there is someone who is not subjective when they do research. I'm subjective because of my history, that is because I have had a past, in a particular place and time, within a particular family, and so forth. I am subjective because of my biography--male, husband, father, 60-years-old, Jewish, Democrat, life member of the Sierra Club, member of the ACLU, professor. My biography shapes me, presses me, influences me in certain directions, as does everyone's. To be subjective, therefore, is not a minor matter. It is to be disposed, inclined, if not compelled. It is to avoid, dislike, if not abhor. It is to seek out, support, if not advocate. I am subjective, notwithstanding that, Tom Barone (1990), wrote that both objectivity and its dyadic counterpart, subjectivity, are dead. I'm not sure that either member of the dyad is dead. Moreover, not believing that we're in the age of post- subjectivity, nor that we ever will be, I hold that my affective state, my history, my biography, invariably will create the dynamic composite I call subjectivity. "Dynamic" is an important qualifier because my subjectivity will change over time, as things change both inside and outside me. What is further true about my subjectivity is that under no circumstance can I shed it. I can deal with it, I can manage it, I can grapple with it, I can understand it, but I cannot shed it like so much dried skin after being sunburned. Thus, it is ever present to shape my behavior wherever I go, whatever I do, no less in my role as researcher that in any other role in life that I play. In research, however, where objectivity has been the directing standard more that in any other behavioral domain, I may feel pressed to seek out my subjectivity, because historically it has been the bad guy, the culprit, the abused and despised member of a Siamese pair. In fact, and to the contrary, subjectivity has been appreciated in domains other than research and objectivity even denigrated, as regards interpersonal relationships, for example. Also as regards the work of the painter, the musician, the poet, the photographer, and the novelist, but not the research. Some final thoughts before I discuss my process of experiencing and understanding subjectivity. I want to know about my subjectivity as a research because of its capacity to dictate the choices I make in all phases of my research, with results that can range, which I will soon illustrate, from the virtuous to the vicious. When I began my research many years ago, I believed that there was no such thing a value-free inquiry. I did not, however, accept subjectivity as a good thing. I thought of subjectivity as bias and associated objectivity with fairness and goodness. Mostly, to be quite accurate, my conception of both concepts was inert--a little lump of low-level understanding. I thought I knew all that I needed to know about each term. I didn't realize the limitations of my understanding until what I knew became more personal and thus more fully clothed with meaning. The first stop on my research landscape is Mansfield and Mansfield High School. Mansfield is a village in the midwest, a very small rural area. Such little villages are islands created by enormous expanses of corn and soybean fields. The fields go right up to the boundaries of the city. Mansfield is twenty-five miles to the nearest town; I realized after I had been there for a while that nobody ever came to Mansfield by mistake. It was not on the way to anywhere. Farmers had controlled the school board forever. A condition for being elected was that you were a native or had been around for a very long time. The orienting idea of the study was to inquire into what reality the rural school was oriented. In my simple minded way--I'm not from a small town, I'm from Chicago--I wondered if the high school was oriented toward the local community, in which case the school would be a factor in the maintenance of that community. Or was it oriented to the opportunity for jobs outside in the larger society, in which case the school would be focusing on individual student well-being and not the community. What did I learn? I learned about a place where a sense of community prevailed. I never thought much about what a sense of community meant before going to Mansfield. The experience of such places is special. It's the kind of experience that makes me want to find more such places; it makes me feel like I want to sustain those places that, in a manner of speaking, wrap their arms around you. They're warm, nurturing, comforting, and secure places. That is what I learned about in Mansfield. I would say to the people I interviewed, "Look, I'm a city guy. I don't know anything about places like Mansfield. Tell me what it's like to grow up here? What's it like to be a student here? A mom here? A grandparent here?" They would often think that they didn't know anything to tell me; I'd say, "you don't have to know anything special; just tell me about your life in this town." And they did. What I also learned from Mansfield was that the school was an agent of this community. I had never thought about this before either. If you have grown up in a small town, perhaps you know all about this. The school was shaped by community life. People felt that the school was theirs in the most profoundly possessive way. The school board and educators insured that the school would be a fitting agent of the community. For the first time, I used the word "fit" in regard to schools. Before coming to Mansfield I thought that schools were about doing good for me and about serving the nation. I didn't know about a school being shaped to be a fitting place for kids from a particular locale so that that locale would be sustained by what happened to the children in school. I had uncovered not only the nature of community in Mansfield, but also the communal function of the high school, which understanding I put in my book's subtitle, "Schooling and the Survival of Community." Here's what I realized--after the fact--about my subjectivity in Mansfield. First, as regards the focus of the book that came out of the study, I discovered my attachment to community. It derived from my own community life in a homogeneous, stable neighborhood in Chicago. It also derived from successive summers spent in this same little resort village in southern Michigan. The people in Mansfield had no idea that I knew anything about community, because they believed that only if you grew up in a place like Mansfield would you know about community. The second manifestation of my subjectivity had to do with my research method. I discovered my attachment to the ethnographic method. I learned that it pleased me to do ethnographic fieldwork; I did it well, I thought. I got satisfaction from the experiences that it provided me. What I eventually decided was that I had a methodological commitment that went in search of something to study. And I realized that I was probably never in my whole life ever going to study anything that didn't fit being done ethnographically. What this says to me is that notwithstanding the fact that you maybe just as skilled doing nonquantitative research as quantitative research, there is something about a particular way of doing research that suits you, is good for you, that you feel you like to do. I know there are people who would never do quantitative research because they feel completely inept to do so. That is a different issue, and one that I understand. What I mean to be saying is that the research methods we use are associated with our subjectivity. The third manifestation has to do with the findings of my research. As I have said before, I discovered my attachment to the survival of a particular community and, by extension, to other places like it. I like Mansfield, I thought it was special, and I rooted for its perpetuation when state policy makers deliberated on the fate of small schools. I was not standing outside saying, "Hmm, now let's see, what about this and what about that?" I liked the sense of community that prevailed there, and thought that such places were uncommon. When I wrote my book about Mansfield, I was saying in effect to readers, hopefully to people who make policy, "Spare this place. There is something worth saving about Mansfield." Can there be any doubt that my subjectivity was at work when I said that? Upon completion of my study of Mansfield and Mansfield High School, I wrote my first paper, on subjectivity. It is called "The Researcher and Subjectivity: Reflections on an Ethnography of School and Community" (1982) . Here is what I realized. Subjectivity operates throughout the entire research process, from its beginning with the choice of what we study, including our methods for data collecting and our analysis of data, and ending with the conclusions we draw. To be sure, there is not a one-to-one relationship between my affective state, my biography, and my history and my choice of topic, the conclusions I reach, and so forth. But the relationship is far from random. I can't predict what you'll study if I know you well, but I can understand why you study what you study if I do know you well. With this understanding, I can know what is much worth knowing: what kind of stake you have in your research topic, if not in reaching particular outcomes. Your stake tells me what you care about and how much you care. Caring, I maintain, is the normal behavior of normal people when they conduct research. I recently saw this caring and stake come out in the work of a doctoral student. She had been interviewing all semester long. One day toward the end of the semester she said, "I realize that I"ve had a hidden agenda all the time." She was conducting her research with, so to speak, sides chosen, a position that she wished would be supported. She was a researcher in early childhood education and very keen on outdoor education as a component of early childhood education. She was interviewing many teachers in the community who were full-time teachers of such children. She wanted not only to know where outdoor play fit in their curriculum; she wanted also to find that they organized outdoor play, and was negative when they didn't. She had no idea that she had a cause, and that this cause was shaping her research process. My next school-community study following Mansfield and Mansfield High School was in Bethany Baptist Church, whose pastor was appalled by what he saw happening to his children in the public schools, took them out, and established a K-12 religious school, Bethany Baptist Academy. The school was adjacent to the church, which is the host- community for Bethany Baptist Academy. Their view of the Bible is as the literal work of God. They are self-proclaimed fundamentalists, and dedicated in every way that I can imagine. I approached this study with the understandings of subjectivity that I've just laid out. I thought I knew something about subjectivity, and I did. I could give a talk on it, I could write a paper on it, I could even sound as if I knew what I was talking about-- a very dangerous state of mind for learning any thing more about a topic. My research purpose was to explore the relationship between scripture and the life of the school it engendered. My orienting idea was Goffman's (1961) total institution, which said something about my subjectivity, though I didn't fully realize what it said when I began. Goffman's idea of total institutions was based on research that was done in jails, institutions for the insane and concentration camps. At Bethany I learned about truth with a capital T. I learned about the logical imperatives of such a conception of truth as it applies not only to the shaping of a school, but also to me. For fundamentalist Christians are proselytizing truth-holders, and, naturally, I became a target for their proselytizing. In fact, they had no choice but to try and convert me; this was not an intended part of my research plan. I daily watched an institution inculcate its ideology in order to create dedicated believers who would in turn disseminate the word of God to the nonbelievers who had not accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. Finally, with regard to what I had learned, I marvelled at the incredible single-mindedness of a school so possessed of doctrinal certainty that it could dismiss the utility of all other religious expressions, as well as ignore the principle of pluralism that was the legal basis for their existence. A paradox, I thought, and still do, a case of biting the hand that feeds you. Schools like Bethany Baptist Academy are absolutely legal, following a Supreme Court pronouncement of the 1920s. The school I studied for eighteen months did not give a moment's time to the ideal of pluralism. It did not acknowledge that its very existence depended on pluralism. My subjectivity awareness was all ex post facto again, as it had been in Mansfield. I knew, of course, when I was pleased and when I was annoyed, when I was angry and when I was upset. I didn't pay special attention to my subjective feelings. I couldn't escape them, but I didn't note them. Then, when I was writing chapter one of the Christian school book, I had an unforgettable experience. I saw creeping into my language some very negative feelings about Bethany and Bethany Baptist Academy. When I was writing about Mansfield, I wanted to celebrate community. There was no less of a sense of community in Bethany. What was going on in Bethany was not less nurturing, less warm, less caring, less embracing, less important to the members of its community then what was going on in Mansfield, but I saw that I was not celebrating it. What was happening to me? I had stumbled over my subjectivity at work in the course of my writing. This was the first conscious experience I had had of bumping into my subjectivity, of being jolted by it in one of the phases of research, the last phase, the write-up. Obviously, my ox had been gored. As a non-Christian at Bethany I experienced repeated proselytizing by students, parents, teachers, and the superintendent of the school. I felt that I had been assaulted by the most arrogant people I had ever met in my entire life. I had never before met anyone who worried about my salvation and thought I would never be safe until I became a born-again Christian. Obviously, all of this had gotten to me in more ways that I understood; it was coming out in my writing, though I didn't want it to. I did not want chapter one, let alone chapter two, three, four, five or six, to be redolent of the anger suggested by terms such as "assault" and "arrogance." To avoid this, I had to be very conscious of my subjectivity. I hadn't been aware of it along the way, but I certainly was at the end. Given the opportunity to repent in leisure, I now looked back at Mansfield and, retrospectively, became further aware of the operation of my subjectivity there. I had passed lightly over Mansfield High School's educational shortcomings, and Mansfield's anti-black sentiments. By calling their racism "anti-black sentiments," I euphemized the racism that was rampant in this little town. I did this because, as I have said, I thought there was something very special in Mansfield. This is not necessarily what a black researcher would have concluded about Mansfield, or, for that matter, any other researcher. There are many stories that can be told about the very same classroom, teacher, school, or community. I told my story about Mansfield and Mansfield High School. I had found a verifiable perspective-- verifiable in the sense that others could see it, too. This perspective was the result of seeing by means of my personal dispositions, that is, by my subjectivity. I saw these personal dispositions as the basis for the distinctive story I could tell. I saw the inevitable filtering and focusing effect of my subjectivity and I called it my "virtuous subjectivity" (1988), virtuous because it enabled me to reach the outcomes I did. In short, my subjectivity is the basis for the singular contribution I can make based on whatever I study. It shows me what I can see in a way that impels me to make something of it. The benefits is seeing. The price I pay for what I do see is what, accordingly, I do not see, because a way of seeing is always also a way of not seeing. I must at once couple virtuous subjectivity with vicious subjectivity, in order to clarify an important negative possibility. I realized after my ox-goring experience at Bethany Baptist Academy, in my stumbling over my subjectivity while writing chapter one, that the risk I ran in celebrating community in Mansfield and Mansfield High School, was that I had asked the Redfield question, "What is there that people enjoy in Mansfield?" and not the Lewis question, "What do people suffer from in Mansfield?" Moreover, I was bringing to the Bethany write-up, an implicit interest in the Lewis question, though I was not sure it was the Lewis question that I wanted as the operating one. Directed by the Redfield question in Mansfield, I could easily have stacked the deck in my story so that the reader would never learn about the Mansfield residents who lived beyond the embrace of Mansfield's warm sense of community, and there were such residents, I realized, therefore, the need--wherever I go as researcher--to explore my null research behavior: Who am I not seeing? Where am I not going? What questions am I not asking? What am I hearing but not appreciating? I further realize the importance of looking for paradox so that I don't let my stake in my research blind me to the contradictions which characterize institutional and individual conduct. Looking for paradox helps to expand the possibly narrowing impact of my subjectivity. My third study was at Riverview and Riverview High School. Based on my just described self-discovery while writing chapter one, I wrote a paper called "Virtuous Subjectivity: In the Participant-Observer's I's (1988)." In its last paragraph, I made myself a promise: the next time I conducted a study, I would keep track of my subjectivity throughout the whole study. I was never going to go into the field again and learn about it afterward. The site of the Riverview study was a medium-size, blue-collar city in California, with a stable multiethnic population. My research purpose was to explore the impact of ethnic-based diversity on the shaping of a school. My orienting question was, "Whose perspectives are reflected in the school, where no ethnic group is the majority, and the values of white, black, Mexican, and Filipino subgroups, not only can be divergent, but also in conflict. In short, I was inquiring into where the mandate came from for what the teachers did in school. In Riverview I learned about a school whose students enjoyed great social opportunities of their own making. Ethnic distinctions were not barriers to social interactions. I learned also that Riverview High School had created many alternative academic programs for students who could not succeed in the mainstream curriculum. These programs both saved students from defeat and isolated them. They also made the mainstream curriculum safe from the school's "deviant" students. I learned about education by isolation. The curriculum and teacher conduct, though affected by student ethnicity, was influenced primarily by universalistic ideas drawn from the notion of making it in the dominant society. Finally, I learned about sincere teachers who tried hard to help poor minority students succeed. Teachers failed because they did not know how to do better. When they tried to do better, and they did try, all the time, they ended up doing more of the same. I watched and felt and noted the results of my self-monitored subjectivity, and the results took the form of what I called "my subjective I's" (1988). I came across six subjective I's in the course of my fieldwork in Riverview. The first one I called "the ethnic-maintenance I." I saw people doing what I valued myself--working to maintain their own ethnic identity. The second I called "the community maintenance I." I saw people in Riverview, as I had in Mansfield, doing things to keep the community together, to sustain a sense of community, to keep its history fresh in the minds of people. In short, they didn't want the outsiders coming in to undermine the sense of community that old-timers knew so well and liked so much. The third subjective I I called my "E-Pluribis-Unum I." It refers to the absence of ethnic distinctions as barriers to social interaction: there was nothing that would go on between youngsters from within an ethnic group that wouldn't also go on with youngsters from across all ethnic groups. It was like stumbling upon utopia. The students called this social fact mingling. I was much taken by the mingling that I saw in Riverview. It obviously resonated with something very important in me. The fourth subjective I I called, "The Justice-Seeking I." This had to do with the fact that in its county Riverview was the poorest town. It was stigmatized by all of its neighbors. There was nobody I met over the age of eleven who couldn't tell me a story about something negative that had happened to them outside the town. The people of Riverview are given a hard time, and this made me angry. Because I thought Riverview people were good people, I didn't think they deserved to be stigmatized. The next subjective I I called, "The Pedagogical-Meliorist Eye." What this means is that I sat in classrooms and I watched such terrible teaching that I thought that I might want to choke the teachers. Choking is not good procedure on the part of the fieldworker. I had been in schools where the teaching hadn't been wonderful, but I had never been where the students were so poor. For them the school was a major place of promise. When I saw that the promise wasn't happening in their school, I felt moved to action in a way I had never felt moved before. I had come upon my subjectivity again. The last subjective I I called my "Non-Research Human I," drawing upon a distinction that anthropologist Morris Frielich makes between the research self and the human self while doing research. What this had to do with was the very warm reception that my wife and I got during the fieldwork year, not just inside the school, where I very much depend upon it, but outside the school as well. We were made to feel welcome. Clearly, the more you have that kind of experience, the more you soften the harsher edges of your experiences. The more I cared, the more I wondered how that caring affected my research. I noted it, of course. With the record of these six points I could now see my subjectivity unfolding before me as explicit, accumulating facets of myself. Each facet is a point on a personal map. The map overall contains other facets that were not elicited by the particular circumstances that I experienced at Riverview and Riverview High School. Which is to say that my subjectivity composite contains more than six facets, and that when I am in some other research situation, other facets of my composite are likely to be elicited. The six subjective I's evoked in Riverview are a case of what I called "situational subjectivity." What did I gain by this awareness of my subjectivity? Knowing where self and subject connected, I became mindful of when and where I felt positively and negatively, which meant that I could possibly contain my subjectivity, get it in shape, so that I don't become the victim of its negative effects, but, rather, can use it in its virtuous aspects. The site of my current research is two high schools in New Mexico. The purpose of the research is to explore the nature of schooling in relation to the bicultural nature of the students' home and community. The orienting concept is "dual world identity," and the orienting question is, "Do students develop some form of biculturalism so that they are able to manage a loyalty to home and a community culture, at the same time that they become competent participants in the majority culture? To date, I have identified three subjective I's in my prep school site. The first one is the "Bedazzled, Envious I." What this means is that the school is so well-to-do, the buildings are so wonderful, the library so fantastic, everything is so elegant that I'm bedazzled. It is a stunning physical place. I'm envious because I would like every child in America to attend such a school. My "Public-School I" is a sort of indignant one. This I believes that children ought to attend public schools. The prep school is a private school. I think that public schools are important for the well-being of democracy and here I am studying this fantastic private school. The part of me that is a public school person is annoyed by the other part of me for liking it so much. This refers to my third subjective I, what I called my "Favoring I." I recently realized something for the first time in all the years that I've been doing research of this sort. I have never seen a school that I thought that I would have liked my children to have attended. Worse than this, I would have liked to have gone myself. My other research site is at an Indian school, a nonpublic school devoted exclusively to the education of Indian children. I will discuss only one of the several aspects of my ethnicity this cultural setting has elicited. "My Empathetic I" emerged before I even began the year of fieldwork. It came out when I was watching the movie, Dances with Wolves. By at the end of the movie, it is clear that the good Indians, not the Pawnee, are going to be caught by the awful soldiers. I had already begun to identify sufficiently with the Indian school to be distressed by the ending of this movie. You don't have to know much history to know what the end would be like. The remaining subjective I's are: the Holocaust I, the Perverse I, the Coopter-Censored I, the Disillusioned I, the Pedagogical-Melorist I (which is a repeat from Riverview. Subjective I's from another study can pop up again; these are not exclusive matters); the Caring I, the Immersed I, the White-Man I, and the Self-Restrained I. When I take a note of a particular subjective I, I feel I've put it in its place; it is less likely to get out of hand. It may be accompanied by countervailing sentiments and dispositions. For example, there is the "Romantic-Empathetic I," on the one hand, and the "Coopted-White Man I," on the other. Given my experience with subjectivity, what do I believe about it? It is always with us, this personal composite of dispositional and deterministic orientations. Depending on where we are and what is happening, different aspects of our subjectivity will be elicited. This is the situational subjectivity I mentioned before. Rather than denigrate subjectivity, its traditional fate, I believe it is more appropriate to cherish it. This is my virtuous subjectivity. It is the basis for mobilizing my attention, my energy, my concern, and my imagination. Anything that does all that must be virtuous! Since our subjectivity has the capacity to shape what we see, it also can shape what we don't see. Therefore, it is essential to note the emergence of our subjectivity so we can tame it, so to speak. I conclude with a puzzle of sorts. As noted above, Robert Redfield, in his study of a Mexican village, asked, "What do the people enjoy?" Oscar Lewis, studying the same village, asked, "What do these people suffer from?" The resulting books were strikingly different. Is it not likely that their books might have been strikingly different even if they had asked identical questions? References Barone, T. E. (1990). On the demise of subjectivity in educational inquiry. Paper presented at annual meeting of the American Educational Research Association. Goffman, E. (1961). On the characteristics of total institutions. In Asylums (pp. 3-124). Garden City, NY: Anchor Books. Gould, S. J. (1983). Hen's teeth and horse's toes. New York: W. W. Norton. Peshkin, A. (1982/1988). The researcher and subjectivity: Reflections on an ethnography of school and community. In G. Spindler (Ed.), Doing the ethnography of schooling (pp. 48-67). Prospect Heights, IL: Waveland Press, Inc. Peshkin, A. (1985/1988). Virtuous subjectivity: In the participant-observer's I's. In D. N. Berg and K. K. 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