How To Help?

--Listen to them and show your support.  Try to set up a specific time and private space for the two of you to talk.

--As you talk with your friend, explain to them in a rational and objective way what you have observed.  Also let them know your concerns and your desire to help them.

--Do not argue with your friend whether or not there is a problem.  If he or she denies that there is a problem, do not create a power struggle.  Simply emphasize your concern and willingness to help.

--Don’t try to help the person with the problem by hiding food for them.  They may begin to resent you and find other ways to deal with the problem.

--Try not to become a hero.  If, after numerous attempts to intervene, your friend continues to become angry or refuse treatment, stop.  Continually discussing the topic may put the friend on the defensive.  Eating disorders are most effectively handled when the person is ready for treatment.  Besides, the discussions you have had with them already may have helped get them started on the road to recovery.

--Do not become a monitor for your friends eating behaviors.  This will not only increase your stress level, but also the stress level of the person with the illness.

--Encourage them to seek help in the form of professional counselors.  These counselors will not only provide a listening ear, but they can also provide nutritional and medical information.

--Offer to go with your friend to their first appointment to see a professional counselor.

--If you are concerned that the eating disorder is life-threatening, seek the help of a professional or relative before intervening.  If the person is suicidal or in serious danger, get professional help immediately.

For family:

In addition to the information above, family members should also remember to (especially during the recovery time):

*Try to keep discussions about food to a minimum, especially around mealtimes.

*Be willing to negotiate household chores when they have anything to do with food.

*Do not comment about the family member’s weight or looks.

*Try not to control another person’s behavior through money, food purchases or guilt.  At the same time, don’t purchase certain types of food as a way to accommodate a person’s behavior.

*Find support for yourself.
 

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