Listening is another important component of communication.  Poor listening and effective listening exists.

Poor listening
1. The Faker-  This is the person who only pretends to listen.  They may smile and nod their heads when you talk to them.  They appear to be listening intently but they do not hear anything you are saying.
2. The Dependent Listener-  This is a person who only wants to please the person speaking.  They are so concerned that the speaker thinks they are doing a good job listening that they are unable to listen and respond appropriately. They may agree excessively with what the speaker is saying although they may not really agree.
3. The Interrupter-  Interrupters are those people you just want to say Shut Up! to.  They will never allow others to finish speaking.  Often they feel they may forget what they have to say or that they have to respond to each point as soon as its made.
4. The Self-Conscious Listener-  Some people are concerned only with their status in the eyes of others than with the ideas or feelings of others.  In an attempt to impress, they don’t listen with understanding.  Instead of listening they may be thinking of way to respond that will sound impressive.
5. The Intellectual Listener-  Intellectual listeners attend only to the words of the other.  They make appraisals of what the other has said verbally, but ignore nonverbal communication and behaviors.

1. Take initiative in communication.  Be an active listener.  Look at your partner and concentrate on what they are saying.  Respond appropriately.
2. Resist distractions.  Distractions can be environmental such as noise or they may be in your mind, such as preoccupations with other problems.  You must make the effort to put aside other thoughts and distractions and focus on what your partner is saying.
3. Control your emotions and the tendency to respond before your partner is finished speaking.  We all have words or ideas that create an immediate emotional response in us.  At that point we often stop listening and begin formulating a reply.  Hear your partner out completely.
4. Ask questions and rephrase to clarify your partners statements.  In effective listening questioning is used for clarification.
5. Use your thoughts to summarize.  We think faster than we can speak.  You can make use of this by periodically summarizing what your partner has said.
6. Practice.  Your listening skills can be enhanced by practicing with everyone, not only your intimate partner.  The more you try to be an effective listener with people, the more skills you will gain.